Real

  I was going through some old writings last night...trying to remember things I've learned. The time has come to embrace change and rise to meet whatever comes next.

I came across this - something I'd written over 2 years ago - but am now convinced I wrote it then because I needed to hear it now.

Late night last night...

Some serious talking between friends. Some resolution. Dragging ugly old nasty things into the light and looking at them for ourselves, without the filters of other random interested parties. Using our own brains and logic to come up with our own conclusions.

For me, it meant a lot. To be validated. To be told the truth. To tell someone I love that they matter and that I believe in them and that we will be strong and I will stand next to her. Because that's what a friend does. Because I want her to know, from my own lips, that I believe she's an excellent person. If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't still be standing next to her. Simple.

I need to be strong. I need to be delicate. I need to balance them both. It's all part of the plan for me. For those I choose. The people I decide to give my time and energy to in this short life I have.

We all have choices. 

Who I choose is a reflection of me. Who I choose is an example for my girls. The people I love are those that I am proudest of, admire most, respect the highest and want the most good things for.

Jason quit his job Thursday. I'm proud of him for not taking that crap anymore. For being brave enough to walk away (from a 10 year job) and get in the drivers seat and take a chance. He is on a new road now. It's a little scary when you have a mortgage to pay and kids to feed. But oh, the courage he has. So proud.

My Mom got a new job Friday. Working at a photo lab of all places. :)  She's trying something new. Ready to walk a different path and experience whatever comes next. She's done it so many times in her life, picked up her pieces to begin again. It's both heartbreaking and inspiring. She is still a work in progress. Aren't we all?

I have a good life. It has bumps and lumps - it's not perfect. It's real. And the lumpy days make the awesome days all the more magical.

Right now all my daughters are happily chit chatty at the dining room table and the sound of their conversation and laughter is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life. It makes up for the "she's touching me" that will come later.

The times will always balance good and bad. But don't take time for granted.

Go out and tell the people you love that you Love them. And don't stop there - tell them why. Tell them how amazing they are to you. What makes them special and important to you. What you admire most about who they are. They deserve that from you.

Let today be the best day you've had in long time.

You deserve that from you.

There for You by Damian Marley 

Vexation of spirit is a waste of time
Negative thinking, don't you waste your thoughts
Verbal conflict is a waste of word
Physical conflict is a waste of flesh
People will always be who they want
And that's what really makes the world go round
Unconditional love is scarce
Now and forever more
Forever more, forever more...

You see, you gave precious life to me
So I live my life for you...You...
You see, you've always been there for me
And so i'll be there for you...You...

Bless your eyes and may your days be long
May you rise on the morning when His kingdom come
Good deeds aren't remembered in the hearts of men
Now and forever more
Forever more...

Comments

[jenn]

I think it is so great to drag all these things out into the light and SEE them for what they are and what they are is not who we are at this moment. We aren't all the crap that has happened to us or to our families. It isn't even as difficult as it used to be so great strides have been made. To be able to say that all these things that happened while I was standing there are just scenery to the ride we are all on.
Still I would like some more answers but everything doesn't have to make sense.